By: Erika LeFlouria, Florida State University
Millions tuned into CBS to watch Oprah Winfrey’s tell-all interview with Meghan and Harry, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex on Sunday, March 7. Many topics were discussed from mental health battles to claims of racism among the royal family. Now the struggles of one of the most high-profile interracial relationships in the world is resonating with interracial couples around the United States.
A controversial subject of the interview revolved around a conversation Meghan had about her now two-year-old son Archie while she was pregnant. Her comments that the royal family had “concerns and conversations about how dark his skin might be when he’s born,” resonated with many interracial families. Many people took to social media to show their support for Meghan– including celebrities like Serena Williams and Chrissy Teigan.
Discovering the interview online, Melizza Black–a Black and Filipino American– decided to watch the conversation with her white fiancé, Austin Tanner. And for her, learning that Meghan’s in-laws had discussions about her son’s skin tone, was something she thought she might have to endure herself.
“As a Black woman dating a white man, there have been many times where I couldn’t help but wonder how that affected his relationship with his friends or family,” said Black.
Hailing from Orlando, Florida, the demographics of the city are 23.5% Black, 36.5% white, and 32.6% Hispanic. Black said her diverse environment has preserved her relationship, but nonetheless, understands the struggles that others have faced.
“I come from a very diverse family background,” said Black. “My parents were an interracial couple so it’s something that’s always been ‘normal’ to me. Austin has only ever been in interracial relationships so it’s ‘normal’ to him as well. Luckily, neither of us has faced any direct backlash or discrimination, but we understand that a lot of interracial couples do.”
Oliver St. Clair Franklin serves as the Honorary British Consul in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He said he was not surprised by the public opinion after the interview.
“The interview is an example of how the UK and US see things differently,” said Franklin. “In the US, with Oprah interviewing, American’s listened emotionally and understood the pain the Sussexes are going through. The British response depended on your age. If you were over 50, the attitude was, ‘I’m a British subject whose taxes go to support the Royal family. I don’t care about the emotional concerns but, rather, want them to get on with their jobs.’ Younger people were more sympathetic and understood the charges of racism.”
The Pew Research Center reports, in the US, about 10% of marriages are interracial. Of that percentage, the 11% of interracial marriages are between Black and white people, with only 3% involving a Black woman and a white man.
In many American households, conversations were brought to light about interracial relationships and their struggles that often go unnoticed. After the interview, people of different backgrounds and relationship statues’ took to social media to share their experiences.
Seeing her story in the duchess’
Renee Vitullo, a Jamaican American mother of two from Valley Steam, New York, has been married to her white husband Anthony, for 15 years. After watching the Sunday night interview, Vitullo and her husband discussed the parallels.
After the news broke and the opinions stirred, Vitullo turned the common situation with the duchess into an opportunity to share her story on Cafe Mom’s website– a community website dedicated to moms. Vitullo was surprised to see her story in Meghan’s.
“Early on, the boundaries were tested and as we got married, started having kids– it just got worse,” said Vitullo. “Now they were no longer on “good behavior”, they’re just being themselves and being disrespectful towards me if they felt like it. We’ve definitely addressed it numerous times. Apologies were made, then the behavior eventually continued. That’s why I finally made the ultimate decision this past summer to not be around them any longer.”
Even if you think you’re prepared, you’re not
Dating in the digital world now allows thousands of people to follow along with your relationship. With over 16,000 followers on TikTok and her highest watched video reaching 1.7 million views, Leah Robinson has been using social media to document her interracial, long-distant relationship with Kyle Kasper. Robinson and Kasper have endured challenges in their relationship since it started in 2015, shortly after the presidency of Donald Trump.
“There was not only pressure from ourselves to learn from one another and try to understand different viewpoints but there was also pressure from our peers who always seemed to have an opinion about our relationship. Now, 5 years later, I can confidently say that being in an interracial relationship with someone who respects you as a person and actively works to understand the different realities that you have is so worth it.”
Though many watched the interview, some didn’t. Having faced vocal opinions regarding her interracial relationship in the past, Robinson couldn’t bear the emotions of hearing Meghan’s trauma.
“We’ve experienced adversity as an interracial couple, and I didn’t want to hear what hell Meghan had to go through,” said Robinson. “Even if you think you’re prepared for what people might say about your relationship, you’re not.”
Tough but beautiful
Perceptions of interracial relationships were not just examined by those in them, but also those who are single. Prophetess Turner, a Black college student at Middle Tennessee State University watched the interview after seeing the stir on social media.
“It showed me that even in 2021, no matter how light or how much white runs through your blood, you will still be villainized for the black that’s in you,” Turner said. “It was a total shock hearing some of the insulting things the royal family hurled at Meghan because I thought for sure that she would have some reprieve due to her being mixed. It scares me because if they are that merciless to someone that light, what would they have done to someone who is as dark as me?”
From Murfreesboro, Tennessee, a suburban area composed of a 71.9% white population and a 19.9% Black population, Turner understands the difficulties faced by many.
“My perception of interracial relationships remained the same after the Meghan and Harry interview – though they are beautiful, they are tough to maneuver,” she said. “I have lived some of the same experiences she has and know in my heart it’s not something she could have made up.”
Conversations surrounding race and other challenges endured by interracial couples are still ongoing. But despite the difficulties Turner, Robinson, Vitullo and Black have discussed, they hope couples in America will continue to pursue interracial relationships.
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